elves

A place for... well, jokes! Try to keep it clean people, this is a family forum! ;-)

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greenfingers
Needs to get out more!!
Needs to get out more!!
Posts: 874
Joined: Wed May 10, 2006 7:23 am
CB Handle: GREENFINGERS
Location: Bournemouth/poole

Sun Nov 30, 2008 9:24 am

What kind of music do elves like best?
"Wrap" music!

How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!

What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
Why, shortbread of course!

What kind of money do elves use?
Jingle bills!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had low "elf" esteem!

How long should an elf's legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground!

What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
"First, YULE LOGon"!

Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log!

What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!

Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
Elfis!

Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin?
Cinder-"elf"-a!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Elf.
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Holly.
Holly who?
Holly up already and Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Yule.
Yule who?
Yule be sorry if you don't Holly up and Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow time to be playing games! Yule be sorry if you don't Holly up and Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"

Why do elves scratch themselves?
Because they're the only ones who know where its itchy!

How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"

Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!

What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A real Christmas Card!

What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!

Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because Santa had said, "No L!"

Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?
Because he had the drum sticks!

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes!

What's another name for Santa's helpers?
Subordinate clauses!

Where do you find elves?
Depends where you left them!
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stampman
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Posts: 6036
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:36 pm
Location: lancaster

Mon Dec 01, 2008 7:54 am

who's been reading christmas cracker joke then

:D :D :D :D *King* *King*
if it anit broke dont fix it

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