Cars V Computers

A place for... well, jokes! Try to keep it clean people, this is a family forum! ;-)

Moderator: stampman

Post Reply
User avatar
Site Admin
Posts: 1043
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2006 4:53 pm
Location: Northampton

Thu Jan 11, 2007 5:24 pm

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the motorway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

User avatar
Motor Mouth!
Motor Mouth!
Posts: 301
Joined: Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:41 pm
Location: Sutton Bridge, Lincolnshire

Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:39 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: =D> \:D/ fantastic

CB'ers do it till it Hertz...Side Banders do it till it MegaHertz


Good Buddy
Good Buddy
Posts: 39
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:18 pm

Thu Jan 24, 2008 3:37 pm

Haha thats just great (:

User avatar
- - -> CB God <- - -
- - -> CB God <- - -
Posts: 6072
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:36 pm
Location: lancaster

Thu Jan 24, 2008 4:54 pm


:D =D> =D> =D>
if it anit broke dont fix it

Official CB Nut
Official CB Nut
Posts: 87
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 4:29 am
Location: Rosyth,Fife

Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:58 pm

Sooooo true :roll: :D

User avatar
Motor Mouth!
Motor Mouth!
Posts: 285
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:08 pm
CB Handle: wildfire.
Location: United Kindom.

Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:12 am

:lol: :lol: =D> that woulll be so true andy but don`t some cars from japan already do a few of them spceialy stoping in silly places a lot :lol:

Post Reply